we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Pooping to opera.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
