Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
