How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
