I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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