nut hugger
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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