im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
