And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize