hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
