You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
