If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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