if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
