dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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