Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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