Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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