My Higher Power is John Stamos
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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