I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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