After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
