My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
