I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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