is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
