I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
