whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
