take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
we should paint friendship bongs
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
