Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
