New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
