At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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