You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can text with my tongue
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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