finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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