She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
