There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
