There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
