Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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