oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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