I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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