We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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