the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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