just come out here and I will go home with you...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
