next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
