I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
