i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
