I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
