I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
