just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
