Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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