i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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