You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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