So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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