This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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