i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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