I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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