Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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