the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
