med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This baby is an asshole
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
