my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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