i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
