Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
