Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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