Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
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Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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