So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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